Everyday on my way to work I pass billboards for a new show coming in September called My Generation. Each sign has a picture of one of the 20-something characters and a quote. Here are the 4 I begrudgingly drive past everyday:
Sly Looking Blonde Lady: “You know this ring comes off, right?”
Bashful Nerdy Guy: “I should have said yes that night.”
Sassy Brunette: “You may have his hand, but I have his heart.”
Other Pretty Lady Whose Hair I Can’t Remember: “When I’m with him, I’m thinking of you.”
Is it just me, or do these quotes make you want drive up to Studio City and burn down the ABC offices (after warning your friend who works there to skip work that day)? After a little research I learned that blonde lady is the wife of guy whose heart belongs to brunette. As far as I can tell this show is going to be entirely about whiny, regretful cheaters. Love triangles! Disposable marriages! Sad nerds who pathetically regret not saying a thing one night who-knows-how-long ago! Trite high school stereotypes grownup! Nostalgia porn!
Remember the first season on Glee? Remember how the teacher was married to a spiteful she-wolf (not the sexy Shakira kind; the bitchy, pretending to be pregnant for 5 months kind) who we were obviously supposed to want him to dump? I hate that. And I have a feeling that’s where this show is going.
I understand that it’s way more fun to watch people get together because love is all new and exciting. Maybe no one wants to watch riveting conflict scenes like:
Amber: My life is falling apart and I need you to drive me to a CVS an hour and a half away so I don’t have to think about how much I hate not having a job I love.
Mr. Barnes: Um… OK.
Amber: Sob! Cry-snot! Sob!
Amber: Why did you tell me you deadbolted the door when you didn’t deadbolt the door, and you KNOW how afraid of serial killers I am!
Mr. Barnes: Because you asked me long after we were in bed and the bottom lock was LOCKED!
Fine. Real marriages that are fairly healthy and happy may not be the most interesting to depict. But how I tire of the one-dimensional, bitch wife. Cheating isn’t a nice thing to do. Even if the ball-eating harpy you married doesn’t care about your love of choir. I don’t find you sympathetic. I don’t want you to realize how much you really feel for that girl you know from work/high school/next door who totally supports everything you do because the extent of her character development is that she wears a cardigan. I don’t buy that she knows you better than your stuck up wife just because you star gazed with her ten years ago. You know why? Because your wife is married to you. She lives with you. She sees all the gross stuff you do in private and once watched you barf up stomach lining.
From what I read, this show is about people who graduated in 2000, which is a year before me, so by “my generation” they actually mean my generation. Frankly, if this is how we’re being depicted, I take umbrage. I don’t know anyone who’s still broken up about some love from high school. In fact I barely know anyone who talks to people from high school. I was pro-life in high school. Shit changes. If you’re regretting not saying something ten years ago you have serious problems and should seek counseling.
Anyway, I know virtually nothing about this show, so everything you just read might be totally unrelated to the actual series. BUT THAT’S NOT GOING TO STOP ME FROM HATING IT. ABC, you’re on notice.
Note: ABC Family, you’re fine. How could I be mad at the network that brings me Secret Life of the American Teenager and Pretty Little Liars? Smooch!